In the beginning...

On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was out of shape, having not exercised a day since it was created. There was darkness everywhere, thanks to PDS and the Nana Addo government.
And God said let there be light and so it was, from lanterns to street lights and even LED ones. And the fear of God was put into the darkness that it runs at the sight of light. And God called the light day and the darkness night, wandering to herself what those arbitrary terms meant. Still, she stepped back and admired her work. So ended the day.
On the second day, God realized that an atmosphere will be necessary so she sent lots of water vapor up into the sky to create clouds. Wait, when did she create water? Never mind, that was tiresome so she called it a day. So ended the day.
And on the third day, God was like “This world is too wet”. So She moved the waters around to create dry patches of land. For some weird reason, She decided to add a lot of salt to most of the water. Then She commanded the land to make trees and all that good green stuff. From the tallest trees to premium kush. She sighed and marveled at how green it was and called it a day. So ended the day.
On the fourth day, God realizes She had been counting the days all wrong! She needed actual heavenly bodies to help her do that. So She created the sun, moon, and stars. Not content with that, She mistook the moon for a source of light. Must be all that work! But, so ended the day.
On the fifth day, God commanded the waters to produce fishes and all the weird stuff that live in them and the air to produce birds and all the weird stuff that comes out of them. Since bats fly, they must have been created on this day. She blessed them and told them to have many babies, took a step back to admire all the movements in her little Kingdom, and sighed. So ended the day.
On the sixth day, God turned her attention to the lands and commanded that all manner of creatures spring out of it. By this time She was pretty tired and so did not think of how those same creatures will end up eating each other just to survive. Seeing that there were so many creatures she had conjured up, it will be too much work to name them all. So, God consulted the voices in Her head and decided to make humans, mini versions of Gods with less power but more real. She charged them to take care of everything She has created unless it affected their capitalist interests. She also charged them to take care of each other, have lots of sex, and many babies. After creating man and woman, God saw the patriarchy, and it was not good. But it was Saturday and she really needed to catch up on some Netflix specials.
On the seventh day, God rested. In the middle of the day, she realized how much she screwed up with her last creation. By giving humans some semblance of free will, and creating them to be just as imaginative and selfish as She was, the possibilities for amazingly beautiful and sometimes cruel things were endless.
So on this day, God created male lesbians. She poured herself a glass of ambrosia and lighted some buds. At that moment, she definitely was the Most High! She imagines humans who are walking contradictions, filled with hope and rainbows and orgasms. Then because she was high, she imagined they had penises. These penis wielding people were different from the previous penis wielding people She had created. They asked questions, doubted, made efforts to understand capitalism and patriarchy and all the social justice issues. Oh, and they loved women too, making them lesbians. As much as everything else seemed impossible before, this was Her finest work, a monkey wrench into the system, a hidden reset button in case shit ever hit the fan.
So ended the day.

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